


Growing Up Jedi

by DragonHoardsBooks



Series: The Key to Victory [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Anakin has awesome friends, Gen, Jedi Culture, Jedi Training, Minor Character Death, Obi-Wan doesn't take any shit, Padawan Anakin Skywalker, The Jedi Corps as a valuable life choice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-27 01:35:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15675384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonHoardsBooks/pseuds/DragonHoardsBooks
Summary: Growing up is always a challenge.Anakin and his friends find that growing up as a Jedi Padawan has some additional challenges on top of that. After all, there is more to bein a Jedi than heving a fancy lightsaber swing.





	Growing Up Jedi

**Author's Note:**

> A thousand thanks to Jahaliel for her encouragement and awesome beta work

Obi-Wan listened behind the door to the lesson going on inside the classroom. When Anakin had told him about the way Master Dejis behaved towards him, Obi-Wan had been skeptical. Not because he didn’t believe his Padawan, but because he remembered Master Dejis as a strict but fair teacher. Not exactly kind or forgiving towards mistakes, but he never singled out one Padawan over the others. So here he was, eavesdropping.

“Padawan Skywalker, I had thought you capable of catching up with the basic reading by now, but apparently I was mistaken. Possibly this class is too demanding for someone of your…upbringing”, Master Dejis’ voice sounded muffled through the door.

Not even five minutes into the lesson and then this? After Anakin had so much material to catch up on and managed to do such with an amazing speed. Right. NO. Obi-Wan took a moment to steady himself, then he palmed the door open and strode into the classroom. Not with his padawan as long as he had anything to say about that.

“Knight Kenobi, what are you doing here?” Master Dejis asked. Instead of answering, Obi-Wan took his inner padawan that was demanding he apologize for interrupting the Master and stuffed it into a corner of his mind. Then he picked up the Bimm and threw him out of the open window. At that moment he remembered that they were in the South Tower. Oh well, he was sure an accomplished Jedi like Master Dejis could manage to land without injury.

He turned around to find the class staring at him. Most of them look astonished but Anakin and his friends had pure admiration on their faces. He gave Anakin a small smile, then he walked towards the desk at the front and picked up Dejis’ abandoned datapad. Basic navigation maths. He could do that. Pad in hand, he sat on the desk.

“Since Master Dejis is unfortunately unavailable today, I will be holding the lesson”, he announced. 

He would not let Anakin be mistreated in any way. Growing up the Jedi way was hard enough; he didn’t deserve to have more obstacles put in his path.

 

“Knight Kenobi, let go of your attachment to your Padawan, you must. Not your place it is, to question another Jedi’s teachings”, Master Yoda told Obi-Wan after he had once again come over blows with another Jedi about Anakin’s treatment.

Obi-Wan inclined his head. “Yes Master.”

Anakin watched from behind the column. He had quickly come to appreciate the way Obi-Wan had a “Yes, Master” for every occasion, especially in recent weeks. From “I disagree” to “I respect your opinion” and the more frequent when Anakin’s training was concerned “Why don’t you go fuck yourself”

Anakin understood that Obi-Wan had needed time to adjust into his new role as a teacher. But now Obi-Wan had fully embraced the position and had planted his feet with certainty about what was best for Anakin. They talked about expectations, wishes and questions every week, and Anakin didn’t feel out of place in their own quarters anymore. He had seriously the best Master ever.

  
  


“Knight Kenobi, a mission for you and your padawan, the Council has.” Master Yoda said as soon as Obi-Wan had answered the comm call.

“I’m sorry, Master Yoda, but I’m afraid we won’t be available”, Obi-Wan replied, his voice apologetic. “We’ve been requested by Senator Organa to accompany him on a secret mission, we’ll be leaving within the hour.”

“Uninformed, we were of that matter”, Yoda protested. Well, whatever this Council mission was, Obi-Wan wasn’t interested. He and Anakin had more important things to do. 

“The paperwork was filed this morning, Master. I’m sorry, I had told the Senator we were available. It would be terribly rude to refuse now.” Obi-Wan let a note of regret enter his voice. It wasn’t always easy to play the Council, but he had learned from the best. Qui-Gon hadn’t always been easy to be around, too.

“To another pair, the mission will be assigned. But inform the Council of such matters, in the future you will?”

“Yes, Master.” Obi-Wan agreed and ended the call. He looked up to find his padawan looking inquisitively at him. He smiled conspiratorially. 

“It’s a secret, Anakin. Pack you things, please. Bail will be picking us up, soon.”

“Ok, Master.” Anakin scampered off, making a valiant effort to hide is excitement and confusion behind his shields.

 

When they had arrived on the landing pad, Anakin asked again: “Master, what is that secret mission he’s taking us on?”

“Yes, Knight Kenobi, what is that secret mission I’m taking you on?” Bail Organa had arrived and come up behind them.

“Your mission is called: repay that favor I owe Kenobi.” Obi-Wan told him, grinning. “Anakin’s mission is a surprise.”

“Ah, it’s that kind of mission. I’ll assume you want to pilot, then? Tell me, Padawan Skywalker, does he pull this with everyone, or do I have special privileges?” Bail asked with the voice of the long-suffering. Pfft. As if he hadn’t requested Obi-Wan for a mission just to have a drinking partner that one time.

“Yes, Senator, he does. My Master is very much a model Jedi who’d never think of breaking a single rule. Until he’s not.” Anakin replied happily. His Padawan was obviously pretending to never be involved in the things Obi-Wan got up to. Or even instigating them in the first place. 

“Hush, you. Let’s get going, we’re on a schedule.” Obi-Wan led the way into the shuttle, his companion’s questions sounding behind him.

 

“What in the Force are we doing on Tatooine?” Bail asked Obi-Wan as they dropped out of hyper space.

“You’ll see”, Obi-Wan answered. He quite enjoyed having all the answers for once. Now he got why Yoda was insufferable all the time.

Once they had landed outside a small moisture farm, Anakin came to join them, having just woken up. He was the first to leave the ship with a look of distaste on his face.

“Why are we…?” Then he spotted the figure emerging from the farm house.

“Mum!”

Obi-Wan watched as the two embraced, feeling very pleased with himself and the universe. At that moment is helper came to join him.

“Obi-Wan, it is good to see you again.”

“Likewise, Padme. Though I was surprised to be coming here. Didn’t you plan to take her to Naboo?”

“Well, yes. But there was an unexpected development.” Padme was smiling, so it couldn’t be that bad.

“If there’s a Jedi involved, unexpected developments are to be expected”, said Bail who’d left the shuttle to join them.

“Hush, you. Queen Padme Amidala of Naboo, may I present Senator Bail Organa of Alderaan.” Obi-Wan introduced them, his diplomatic training asserting itself. 

“A pleasure to meet you, my Lady.” Bail said, bowing slightly.

“Likewise, Senator. But call me Padme, please. We’re at a very informal occasion, after all.” 

“Bail, then.” They all turned to look at Anakin and his mother again. They had ended their hug and were now wandering over, Shmi’s arm over Anakin’s shoulder.

Anakin’s eyes were glowing with happiness, which only increased when he noticed Padme next to Obi-Wan. “Padme! I’m glad to see you again!”

Obi-Wan was glad to see his padawan filled with such joy. While Anakin’s life had gotten much better, Obi-Wan remembered only too well the nights his padawan had crawled into his bed with tear-filled eyes. 

“Well, Padawan, how do you like your surprise?” He asked, smiling. Just a second later he had his arms full of enthusiastic padawan and got the life hugged out of him.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Anakin exclaimed. 

“I couldn’t have managed without my assistant.” Obi-Wan told him, nodding towards Padme, who was then likewise hugged within an inch of her life.

The moment was ruined by C-3PO, of course, who insisted on greeting his maker personally.

 

The complication, it turned out, was called Cliegg Lars and his son Owen. 

“We want to marry”, Shmi told them after introductions had been made and they had all settled inside. Anakin wasn’t sure what to think about it, on the one hand he wanted his mum to be happy, on the other it felt like he was losing her all over again. He was gone and she found herself a new family, including a new son.  _ Let go of your anxieties, Anakin. Listen to the Force _ , Obi-Wan told him over their training bond. He was sure he had shielded his insecurities and kept his face blank, but of course his Master had noticed anyway. He closed his eyes for a moment and  _ listened _ , and there it was.  _ Calm, don’t worry, joy _ . His mom would be happy here. But still, he worried even as his mother’s love for him radiated in the Force. 

_ Could we meditate together later? _ he asked and received a barely noticeable nod in reply. Mum’s happiness was more important than him, anyway. And he had Obi-Wan, and Elon, Fessk and Naruhir. She could have new people in her life, too.

“So, how’s this going to go? I mean, I know the affirmations slaves use for companionship, but how do freemen do weddings?” Slaves didn’t do weddings. All they did was affirm they wanted to spend their lives together for as long as they found each other suitable and their Master’s let them.

“It’s not very complicated. The couple says their vows in front of witnesses and an official who signs the paperwork. The biggest problem is that we have to wait for said official to show up. There aren’t many priests on this planet, you know”, Cliegg answered.

“That is a problem I can help you with”, Obi-Wan announced cheerfully. “All Jedi Knights and Masters are licensed to officiate weddings. If you have no objection, I’d be happy to do so.”

“We would be honored”, his Mum replied.

 

Shmi wasn’t certain what to think about all of this. She was certainly grateful for her freedom, caused by this young Jedi who called himself her son’s Master, and Padme. Who knew how long it would have taken Cliegg to get the money to buy her on his own? But Anakin had come back different. Gone was the open and happy child she’d known, and in his place was a solemn and reserved teen. After the initial enthusiastic hugging, he had drawn himself back, and entered a state of restraint eerily reminiscent of the older Jedi at his side. 

After dinner, when the group was splitting into smaller pairs, her son and his teacher sat on the floor in the corner, their eyes closed. Anakin fidgeted at the start, but after Obi-Wan grabbed his hand, he settled down and was perfectly calm. She had never seen Anakin sit that still. He was always doing something, twitching and moving around. But here he was, almost like a statue, his legs crossed and his back straight. 

After maybe 15 minutes, they opened their eyes, and had what seemed a non-verbal conversation made of eyebrow twitches and head-tilts. At last, Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow, Anakin gave a small nod and received a small fleeting smile in return. Then her son bowed. She had hoped that Anakin would never have to bow to a Master again, but he did, and got a nod in return. Obi-Wan stood up and walked towards Senator Organa who was talking to Padme. They had a short, whispered conversation and then left the room, leaving Padme looking after them bemusedly. And was that a blush?

After a while, Anakin stood up and walked towards her.

“Mum, what’s the matter? You seem worried?” he asked. Shmi wasn’t certain how to explain it. She had known that becoming a Jedi would change Anakin, but she hadn’t realized just how much it would bother her. But she had never lied to her son, and she wasn’t about to start now.

“You’ve changed, Ani. It feels like there is a mask where my son used to be.” Shmi regretted her choice of words as soon as they had left her mouth. She hadn’t meant to sound so harsh. As yet another change to her son, Anakin didn’t protest. Instead he just blinked slowly. Then he muttered a very quiet “Huh” and slowly exhaled. Suddenly, her son was back, with his ever present small smile and sparkling eyes.

“I’m sorry Mum, I completely forgot my shields. Master Obi will be delighted and never let me hear the end of it.” Shmi winced hearing Ani address another as “Master”. Wasn’t he supposed to be free? Anakin noticed, of course, and was quick to reassure her.

“Oh no, Mum, nothing like that. Master is a title of respect, to show that I accept and cherish his teachings. Obi-Wan would never force me to call him that if I wasn’t comfortable with it. I think I never did outside official events for a year after becoming his padawan.” Shmi was relieved.

“So what exactly does being a Master entail?”

“That depends on the Master/Padawan relationship. But it’s always supposed to contain teaching and caretaking, there is this famous poem called “To Guard and Guide” that every Jedi learns by heart. Obi-Wan is a teacher and a friend. It took us some time to figure out a way in which we both would be comfortable. But now we’re doing great.”

“And where did he go just now?” Shmi asked.

“Well, Obi-Wan and Senator Organa have a casual affair sort of thing.” Anakin shrugged, clearly unbothered.

“A casual affair? They are not a couple?” Shmi wondered. She wouldn’t have thought that Jedi did that sort of thing.

“No, Obi-Wan would never. A Master’s first duty is to their Padawan. Adding some kind of courtship into the mix should only happen with the Padawan’s approval, and even then it’s rare. The Padawan in turn refrains from any kind of relationship until their knighting. Entering a serious commitment like a marriage means a great dishonor to the Master, because it means that their padawan considers other things more important than learning from them.”

Shmi and Anakin talked late into the night. Anakin told his mother all about the different culture the Jedi had, his friends, his studies and the missions he had gone on. Shmi was glad her Ani had found a home.

 

The day of the wedding began like any other day. Anakin was woken up by Obi-Wan at sunrise for training.  _ Fighting on sand, Padawan, is an important skill set.  _ Though the look of awe on Owen’s face when he came outside to collect them for breakfast was novel and gave Anakin a warm feeling. After breakfast began the wedding preparations. Anakin used the Force to levitate decorations in place under direction of Padme, ignoring the knowing smirk Obi-Wan send his way before disappearing into the kitchen with Shmi to prepare the feast, which would happen in the evening after the ceremony. Cliegg and Owen prepared the seating and the canopy outside, which would shield everyone from the light of the twin suns. C-3PO seemed to be quietly short-circuiting, until directed to watch for arriving guests. Nobody should be arriving until afternoon, but it kept the droid occupied and out of the way.

 

“Are both of you ready?” Obi-Wan asked quietly. Shmi and Cliegg nodded, smiling brighter than the twin suns above. Behind them, Owen was hopping from one foot to the other in excitement, while next to him Anakin was making a very good impression of a dignified Jedi Padawan while radiating his joy into the Force and Obi-Wan was so very proud of him.

“Then let us begin.” He raised his voice. “Gentlebeings, we are gathered here today to witness the union of Shmi Skywalker and Cliegg Lars. Should any of you object to this union, speak now so Owen can kick you in the shins.”

Shmi let out a surprised snort that was drowned by the laughter among the guests, mostly neighbors, but also a couple of Shmi’s friends, who were freed and came to Tatooine to witness Shmi’s wedding. Finding them had been a pain, but it was worth it for the bright smile Shmi had given him when she saw them again.

Obi-Wan grinned and took Cliegg’s right and Shmi’s left hand. “Cliegg, you have chosen Shmi to be your wife. What is your pledge to her?”

There was a miniscule stutter in Cliegg’s voice, but he managed to speak loud and clear regardless: “Shmi, I love you with all my heart. I promise to be the man you deserve to have. I will never knowingly cause you pain, I will always be faithful and help you through all difficulties. I will share your joy and your grief and be with you until the end of my days.”

“Shmi, do you accept this vow?”

Shmi nodded. “I do.”

Obi-Wan put Cliegg’s hand into Shmi’s and took their other hands. “Shmi, you have chosen Cliegg to be your husband. What is your pledge to him?”

Shmi released a small breath. “Cliegg, I love you with all my soul. I promise to stay at your side, always. I will help you through all hardship, I will celebrate all your success. All that you are, I will cherish and all that will harm you, I will defend you from. I will share your joy and your grief and be with you until the end of my days.”

“Cliegg, do you accept this vow?”

“I do.”

Obi-Wan put Shmi’s right hand into Cliegg’s left. “You have spoken your vows and have them accepted and thus you are One. May you be strong in adversary and joyful in success. Be blessed, and may the Force be with you, always.”

  
  


Naruhir was once again holed up in the archives to be alone and read. It wasn’t that she didn’t like to do stuff with her friends, but she preferred to have some time alone each day. She had just started a new book, “The Tragedy of Ulic Qel-Droma” and she couldn’t wait to see what would happen. Just when she was about to lose herself inside the pages, she noticed someone standing in front of her. Slightly disgruntled at being disturbed, she looked up to find Master Jocasta Nu, the Head Archivist looking at her.

“This is a bit advanced for someone your age, don’t you think?” Master Nu asked. Great.  Another one who didn’t believe in Naruhir’s ability to comprehend her choice of reading material. Carefully keeping the annoyance out of her voice, she replied:

“Why should it be too advanced? I’ve read other books by this author already.”

“Have you, indeed?” Master Nu sounded contemplative. “What is your name, young initiate?”

“It’s Naruhir”, she replied with a polite nod.

“No last name? That is rather uncommon for humans.” Master Nu raised an eyebrow inquiringly. Naruhir explained: 

“It is custom among my people that children give up their family name when given to the temple. We leave our family behind, after all.”

“I see. Initiate Naruhir, would you meditate with me?” Naruhir looked at Master Nu, astonished. Masters meditated with initiates to determine compatibility in the Force. It was one of the commonly observed steps when choosing a padawan.

“I would be honored, Master Nu”, she answered and followed her potential future to a meditation room close to the archives.

 

Coming out of meditation, Naruhir felt calmer than usual. Master Nu felt very different in the Force than her friends or even the crèche masters. The master kneeling across from her connected to Naruhir’s Force presence in a way she had never felt before. Naruhir found her delight mirrored in the other.

“I did not think this would happen again. Initiate Naruhir, I would be honored if you consented to become my padawan.” It was happening, it was really happening. Naruhir could barely contain her excitement. She almost forgot the proper response.

“Master Nu, the honor would be mine. I accept your offer.”

 

As they were leaving the room, the somber atmosphere was interrupted by the arrival of Naruhir’s friends. They bowed when they noticed Master Jocasta.

“Greetings, Master Nu. Naruhir, you’re late. We wanted to meet 20 minutes ago”, said Fessk. 

“Master Jocasta chose me as her padawan!” Naruhir announced, keeping her voice barely above the permitted noise level. They were still in the archives, after all.

“Congratulations on your choosing Master Nu, Padawan Naruhir”, Elon called and was quickly echoed by Fessk and Anakin, who had a delighted smile on his face.

“Won’t you introduce me to your friends, padawan?” asked Master Jocasta, smiling faintly.

“Of course, Master. May I present Elon Des, padawan to Aryn Olor, Anakin Skywalker, padawan to Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Initiate Fessk.” Naruhir replied. At her words, each of her friends bowed again as they were named. It made Naruhir glad that they had paid attention in etiquette class so they wouldn’t embarrass her now.

“Greetings, young Ones”, Master Jocasta acknowledged them. “Come now, padawan, we have to inform the Council and then give you your braid.”

Naruhir followed her Master to her future as a Jedi Knight.

“Master, I had a feeling Master Nu doesn’t like me much”, Anakin said after he had told Obi-Wan about Naruhir’s choosing when he’d returned to their quarters. Obi-Wan nodded slowly, not really looking surprised.

“It’s not your fault, Ani. That situation is a leftover from her growing up with Master Dooku, who was Qui-Gon’s Master. They were friends growing up, but had a falling out of some kind and she’s never liked any of our Lineage since.” Anakin thought about it. For all that Jedi were supposed to be kind and forgiving, some of them could hold a grudge like no one’s business. Still, it didn’t sit right with him, being at odds with one of his friend’s masters. Especially through no fault of his own.

“We should have her over for dinner, Master”, he suggested.

“Should we, now.” Obi-Wan raised his eyebrow questioningly.

“According to Padme, a dinner invitation is a tried and true method to gain allies”, Anakin explained. Padme and him had had some really weird conversation topics over the years, but Padme versus the stupidity of Naboo’s older politicians was a recurring topic.

“You may have a point there”, Obi-Wan agreed, “But here’s your second lesson in dinner politics: You should make an effort while not looking like going out of your way to please them. So, favorite foods, as long as it’s something we usually might serve. And I know just the person we can ask for help in this case. Anakin, I think it’s time you met your great-grandmaster.”

Talking to Master Dooku was intimidating. Anakin had to make sure his posture and manners were impeccable or earn the raised eyebrow of disapproval. Now he knew where both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had learned that expression.  But they ended up with a list of recipes and a dinner strategy that worked out beautifully in the end.

  
  


Anakin returned from his meeting with Chancellor Palpatine feeling somewhat off. Luckily, he could avoid these visits most of the time, but sadly not even the Jedi Council could say no to a personal request of the Supreme Chancellor. But maybe Obi-Wan would have an idea.

“Master, can’t we do anything to stop my visits to the Chancellor?” he asked as soon as he entered their rooms.

“You know I would stop you from going in a heartbeat”, Obi-Wan replied, “but with you being asked for personally… But I thought it wasn’t so bad?”

“He’s always very kind and he has some interesting knowledge. But being alone with him feels kinda …slimy. Like the Force is trying to creep inside my skin.” Anakin shuddered at the memory.

“Right. We might not be able to prevent you from going, but we might just stop Palpatine from requesting you. Come along, Padawan.” Obi-Wan swept his cloak from its place on the couch and left the apartment, Anakin trailing behind him.

“Where are we going, Master?”

“To the senate. It’s just the right time to run into a senator or two and be invited for tea. I think it’s time for you to become familiar with the political tool of character assassination.”

 

Anakin sat on the couch in Senator Jakker-Sun’s office, being quietly in awe as he watched Obi-Wan weaving a web of insinuations and allusions around the Senator. After they had oh so coincidentally (Obi-Wan specifically checked the Senate roster) run into the Senator, they had been invited for tea and a chat to the Senator’s office; they had accepted the invitation after a token protest (“Oh, we wouldn’t want to impose, but if you insist”). 

Senator Jakker-Sun had asked what brought them to the Senate, to which Obi-Wan replied “Anakin had a meeting with Chancellor Palpatine.”

From there it evolved into a sort of meandering conversation about all the newest gossip, which Obi-Wan skillfully brought back to Anakin’s meetings with Palpatine, saying nothing and insinuating everything.

“As a relatively new knight, I still have a lot of things to do, you know, the bureaucracy waits for no one. So I use the time Anakin visits the Chancellor quite productively, I assure you.”

“You don’t accompany you Padawan?”

“Oh, I’m not invited to these meetings. I don’t like it, but he’s the Chancellor, what can I do? It would be terribly rude to just show up.”

Anakin’s personal favorite was the sentence “I am very grateful towards Chancellor Palpatine for the guidance he gives my Padawan, breaking all sorts of protocol to spend time with a ten year old alone in his office, even though he’s such a busy man.”

Even though Obi-Wan was clearly the more skilled at subtly manipulating the conversation, Anakin thought he had some shining moments as well. “I try not to resent the fact that I can spend less time with my friends at the temple to meet with the Chancellor, he so very busy after all. But you know, Senator, I wish he could adapt to my schedule a bit more.”

After they finished their tea, they left the Senator behind looking quiet thoughtful.

“With any luck”, Obi-Wan muttered as the door closed behind him, “he’ll have some tales to tell at Senator Trell’s party this evening.”

 

Obi-Wan sat at the breakfast table, sipping his tea and feeling quite pleased with himself and the world. Across from him, Anakin read the headline. “Children meeting alone with high ranking government officials. What is really happening behind closed doors? Force, Obi-Wan! You know how to make an impression!”

“Master Windu has already commed that the Council will refuse any requests to meet with underage Padawans for the foreseeable future. If Palpatine asks you back now, it would be political suicide.”

 

“Hear ye, hear ye! In accordance with Master Giras’s general fuckery, the etiquette exam has been moved to take place next week!” Anakin announced as he entered the study room. Fessk, Elon and Naruhir looked up from their datapads.

“Seriously? It was supposed to be in two weeks,  _ at the earliest _ ”, Naruhir exclaimed. “Why in the Force would they move the date?” She pointed at Elon and Anakin, who were admittedly the biggest offenders when it came to annoying the teaching Masters. 

Anakin held up his hands. “It wasn’t me. Master Obi-Wan told me to choose my battles wisely, and also to pick fewer battles than that. Pissing off our teachers at exam season would be stupid. Besides, going up against older Jedi in my defense is Obi’s job.”

They all took a moment to remember the time Obi-Wan hit Master Yoda with a frying pan. It had been a thing of true beauty

With a small grin Elon pointed around them. A couple of datapads were laying on an ocean of flimsy sheets. “Do I look like I have the time to plan and execute an elaborate prank? I’m swamped with studying.”

“It’s your own fault, too. Why you insist on doing all your possible exams as soon as possible I have no idea. They’ll wait for the next exam iteration, you know?” Fessk poked Elon in the side, earning an involuntary twitch of Elon’s head-tails. Anakin grinned. As always Elon had covered themselves in way too much work, and as always Fessk needled them endlessly about it, while also making sure that Elon remembered to eat. 

“All right, enough with the nonsense.” Naruhir clapped her hands. “Study time, people.”

This was why Naruhir was the best. For all that she was sometimes a bit, well a lot, scatterbrained, she made sure at the same time that all of them were up to date in their studies.

 

Three days later they were sitting in front of Master Aryn for a comprehensive study review. 

“All right, let’s see what you can remember. What  different kinds of bowing do you know?”

“Full bow, half bow, bow-nod”, they chorused.

“To be used when…?”

“Full bow to superior, half bow to uncertain status or if there is only a small status difference, bow-nods between equals”, Fessk replied.

“For example, Anakin?”

“Full bow from Padawan to Master, or any Jedi to the Council, half bow between Knight and Master, bow-nod between Masters.”

“Good, how can you differentiate further, Naruhir?”

“Low hand or high hand. High hand can be either both arms crossed or arm across chest, with the hand either open or closed.”

“Which signals what, Elon?”

“Low hand is the standard you use when you don’t have anything else you want to convey. Two arms crossed indicate a supplicant, it was commonly used when fallen Jedi returned to the Order for judgment. One hand indicates service, closed and open distinguishes between civilians and warriors, because a closed fist can also hold a weapon.”

“Very good, Padawans. You have this part down. Let’s move to table manners and silverware.”

A collective groan answered that announcement.

  
  


“Please hold still”, Anakin ordered. MS-37 beeped at him.

“Look, it’s not my fault you got your wiring all messy. You were the one who fell into the filled sink. Though I’m not really sure how you managed that.” More beeping, this time sounding indignant. But at least MS-37 stopped moving its wheels and Anakin could open the maintenance panel. The mouse droid assigned to his and Obi-Wan’s quarters was very cute, but Anakin wasn’t sure if there hadn’t been a mistake during its manufacturing cycle. Their little droid was  _ special _ and had apparently originally been assigned to Qui-Gon as revenge from the quartermaster for some reason or other. The details were lost in time, really.

 

“There is no shame in being sent to the corps, Fessk”, Obi-Wan said. It was the day of Fessk’s 13 th birthday and ostensibly they were in Obi-Wan’s and Anakin’s quarters to celebrate, with both Naruhir and Elon out on missions. But Fessk didn’t much feel like celebrating the day he aged out of the Initiate training.

After a moment, Obi-Wan added: “Even if it will take you a while to accept it, this is not your fault. Just like it wasn’t mine at the time.”

Fessk and Anakin stared.

“But, but…”, Anakin flailed. Obi-Wan was  _ the  _ Jedi of his generation. There was no chance in all the hells that Obi-Wan of all people had aged out.

Obi-Wan smiled at their confusion. “Yes, Anakin. Though Qui-Gon was clearly meant to be my Master, he refused at first. And so I turned thirteen and was sent to the AgriCorps on Bandomeer. As Qui-Gon was sent on a mission on the same planet, it gave me a chance to change his mind.” Anakin open his mouth to ask, but Obi-Wan continued. “Which I will tell you about another time. It’s not exactly a happy memory.”

“Do you think the same could happen to me? That I find a Master who brings be back?” Fessk asked, sounding like he was trying very hard not to be hopeful.

“Unfortunately, no. You would make a magnificent Jedi, Fessk, of that I am sure. But I don’t think there is a Jedi available to take you as a Padawan”, Obi-Wan replied.

And Anakin suddenly  _ knew _ . He could see it clear as day, Fessk in Padawan robes, with a leather braid, smiling, and next to him…

“Because it’s you”, he whispered. “You are the Jedi the Force meant to be Fessk’s Master.”

Obi-Wan nodded sadly. “Yes. Fessk and I would fit well together, but to take him on would mean to reject you, and I’m not doing that.”

Anakin remembered that day in the Council chamber, where Qui-Gon had claimed him in the same breath as recommending Obi-Wan for his trials. He had been so glad that someone was willing to fight for him, but now… that moment must have been horrible for Obi-Wan.

“Can’t you take us both?” he asked.

“I asked the Council. A Master taking on two Padawans is not exactly unheard of, but it’s only permitted in extreme circumstances and hasn’t happened in centuries. They said no.”

“But that’s not fair”, Anakin protested. Next to Obi-Wan, Fessk was curiously silent. 

“No, it is not.” Obi-Wan agreed. Anakin thought about it. Obi-Wan and he argued a lot, and while Obi-Wan never shouted at him, he sometimes just left to calm down, leaving Anakin fearing that this was the time Obi-Wan would grow tired of him. But then at other times, they harmonized so well together; it felt like they were extensions of each other, though each of those instances took a lot of work. They were like two jagged edges, that only time would smooth out so they’d fit. In contrast, the possibility of Fessk and Obi-Wan rang bright and true in the Force. 

“What if I stopped being your Padawan, so you could take Fessk?” he asked slowly.

“I’ll admit that I’ve thought about it. But I wouldn’t be so callous as to cast you aside without making sure that you had a new Master and were all right with the change.”

“I’ll take it that didn’t go so well?” Fessk asked dryly.

“Yes. The Jedi that would be able to deal with Anakin’s rather unique situation are not available, and the Jedi who are available are, in my opinion, unsuited. If I send Anakin away without a new Master, he’d be sent to the Corps with the stigma of the failed Padawan following him.”

Anakin and Fessk shared a look that conveyed just how fucked up their situation was. They were friends, and one of them would have to go so the other could be a Jedi.

Obi-Wan voiced the thought before Fessk could do so and put a possible strain of his friendship with Anakin. “It is possible that Anakin would be happy in the Corps, as pilot or engineer. Maybe even in happier than he’d be as a Jedi Knight.”

“Then we can do that. I can step aside for Fessk, you only chose me because of Qui-Gon anyway”, Anakin said, half determined and half desperate. He wouldn’t stand in the way of his friend’s chances, no matter how much he wanted to be Jedi Knight. He spent so much time down in the hangars that it wouldn’t be much of a change, anyway. Suddenly he found himself levitated to Obi-Wan’s other side.

“Hush, Ani. Your choosing might have been highly unconventional and I might not have pciked you if the circumstances had been different. But it was my choice then and it is my choice now. And I won’t leave you.”

Anakin clung to Obi-Wan’s tunics and reflected that his Master really gave the best hugs.

After a moment, Obi-Wan straightened up. “It wouldn’t be a good idea, anyway.”

“Why?”

“Listen to the Force and consider the possibilities. If Anakin doesn’t become a Jedi Knight, what would be the result?”

Fessk closed his eyes and felt. “I feel cold when I think about it. And some vague dread. But on the other hand, if I imagine Jedi Knight Skywalker, the Force sings. Ani has to become a Jedi.”

Anakin could feel it too, paths and possibilities and the certainty that he would be a Jedi. 

“So, what will happen to me now?” Fessk asked. Normally it would be a member of the Council of Reassignment who would speak with the Initiates about their future, but obviously in this case it was different.

“You have a place in the Exploration Corps. Since you have shown considerable talent as a healer, you’ll get additional training in that field”, Obi-Wan replied. “But I have also something to give you.”

He reached into his tunics and pulled out a small bag. When Fessk open it with slightly shaking fingers, he found a pendant in the form of the Great Tree on a leather string, made from wood and inlaid with blue shells. 

“While not all Jedi do this, I believe it is important to acknowledge not only the things that are, but also the things that might have been. And so you are my Padawan-Var’Mias, the Padawan-that-wasn’t.” Obi-Wan said quietly.

“Wait, Jedi really have a name for this?” Anakin asked incredulously while Fessk put the pendant around his neck.

“Yes. Though situations like this are not exactly common, there are other circumstances that might make a Master unavailable. Sickness, a difficult long-term mission, or even death. Technically, you are Padawan-Var’mias to Qui-Gon, which is why your first bead was originally owned by Qui-Gon.”

“So if the Council wasn’t made of idiots, we would have been Padawans together. What would that make us?”

Obi-Wan smiled. “You would have been Brother Padawans.”

Fessk and Anakin looked at each other. “Brothers.”

  
  


Anakin entered the crèche and immediately got a small soft ball floated into his face. The tiny squeak that followed told him that it hadn’t been deliberate. Behind him, Obi-Wan chuckled. “Why don’t you go and assure the little one that she didn’t hurt you?”

Anakin followed Obi-Wan’s pointed finger and spotted a small Bothan girl who looked faintly horrified. “How do you know it was her?”

“Because I can sense the direction of the Force that held the ball. And yes, Padawan, you’ll learn how to do that. But you have to learn better control first.”

“Yes, yes.” Anakin picked up the ball with the Force and floated it back towards the youngling, bumping her gently on the nose. She giggled and he went over to her.

Obi-Wan watched as his padawan was buried in younglings in short order. For all that he grumbled about it, Anakin loved crèche duty with a passion.

“I see your padawan has been kidnapped by the younglings”, Master Celsi said next to him. She carried a small Rishii toddler on her hip who seemed a bit wary.

“This is the little one, then?” Obi-Wan asked. There had been a reason for them to come to the crèche apart from Anakin’s love for younglings.

“Yes. The poor thing need caretakers with ironclad shields, otherwise she just gets flooded with thoughts and memories. Knight Kenobi, meet Tarish.”

“Hello, little one.” Obi-Wan stretched out his hand, palm up, taking great care to keep his shield locked tight. The last thing a one-year old needed was his nightmares.

Tarish stretched out her talon and slowly took Obi-Wan’s hand. A moment later Obi-Wan had his arms full of downy toddler. The Order took special care with children whose Force powers required careful handling. All Jedi who met those requirements and were skilled in childcare visited the crèche sooner or later. It had the benefit of relieving the crèche masters who normally took care of them and also introduced the children to people who were save, since some of them could not even touch their fellow younglings without their powers activating.

While Obi-Wan and Celsi played with Tarish, soon joined by other younglings who needed shielded playmates, Anakin was saved by death through extensive tickling by Naruhir, who summarily levitated several of the little hellions into the air. The general aura of happiness that permeated the crèche was really calming for Elon, who was sitting in front of Master Krayes and practicing his empathy skills.

“All right, let’s try again. Take a deep breath, find your center, let the Force flow through you.” Elon did as advised. The Force was like the water, keeping him afloat. His friend’s and master’s presences were like shimmering lights, giving him comfort. Elon slowly took Master Krayes’s hand, while keeping his own emotions in check. He didn’t want to flood her after all, not yet. Elon could sense her joy, but also a hint of unease. Why would anyone be uneasy in the crèche? Master Krayes was known as a strict teacher, but also very caring towards her charges.

“I know you sense it, Elon. Don’t try to find the source. Just carefully try to sooth it.” This was the moment. Elon’s normal power was just flooding everyone he touched with his own emotions. He had figured out with Master Aryn how to stop doing that, but the next step, controlled influence, had been beyond him so far. Since Master Krayes had a similar empathy gift, she decided to help him. Elon carefully took that strand of unease and infused it with calm until it had stopped.

“Well done”, Master Krayes smiled at him. “We will work on your technique next, I could clearly sense that my emotions were manipulated. Your gift can only be useful to you if people don’t notice you’re using it.”

“Thank you, Master.” Elon bowed. This had been his first step.

  
  


Anakin looked at the ribbon on the table in front of him. Red, etched with white and black. The ribbon of First Blood. 

He hadn’t even  _ meant _ to kill the guy. He had been charged with protecting two girls, the daughters of the governor that had been kidnapped. After he and Obi-Wan had found the kidnappers hiding place, his Master had dealt with the thugs while Anakin took the girls and moved to a safer place. Or so he’d thought. When suddenly an attacker had stormed towards them, there hadn’t been time to think. Anakin had simply reacted and fallen into familiar patterns that he had practiced over and over. Dodge, twirl, parry,  _ stab _ . And then, a body at his feet, a soul passing into the Force. Obi-Wan had found them only moments later, he’d looked at Anakin without accusation, only grief in his eyes. “Well done, Padawan. I am so sorry.”

And now they were back home in their quarters. Obi-Wan was combing out Anakin’s padawan braid, preparing it for adding in a new ribbon. Because Anakin had killed for the first time. 

Normally it was a source of pride to earn a new ribbon for his braid; the mechanic, the pilot, the first fighter that had permitted him to go on missions. But not this time.  _ A life taken shouldn’t be celebrated _ , Obi-Wan had told him years ago. Anakin understood that now. How could he celebrate when he had felt the life leaving a body and passing on? A light in the Force snuffed out, and he was the one who did it.

“How can you handle this so calmly?” Anakin asked finally. “I’ve killed someone!”

“This is the first trial every Jedi has to face, Ani. You took a life, yes. But you also saved two. I wish you wouldn’t have had to do that this early in your life, but I’m so very proud of you.” Obi-Wan put the comb aside and wrapped Anakin in a hug. “You’ve handled yourself admirably.”

“Really? Even though I’m a hot mess right now?” Anakin felt tears running down his face.

“Shh, It’s all right, Ani. You’re allowed to grieve for the life you took. Everyone does.” Anakin buried his face in his Masters tunic and cried out his sorrow.

Red, for blood. Black, for death. And white, for innocence lost.

 

The red ribbon is the first big change in a Padawan’s life, Anakin knew. Without it, a Padawan couldn’t be promoted to senior Padawan, with some exceptions, of course. He just wished it happened to him this soon, he didn’t need the concerned glances from his friends, or want the pity he could see in the older Jedi’s eyes. The only bright spot apart from Obi-Wan was Healer Mir, who was assigned as his mind healer and really helped him make sense of the mess in his head. Also, he could chat with her about his droid projects, and the glitch in MS-37 which caused the droid to be even more adorable than usual.

 

It happened during lightsaber classes. Anakin had performed the kata without a problem, but then they had started with open sparring. Suddenly he had been  _ back there _ , with the smell of burning flesh in his nose. He dropped his lightsaber and stumbled back, breathing quickly. He could not do this again, not take another life,  _ no. _

“Padawan Skywalker?” Anakin came back to himself with a start. Master Senai was kneeling in front of him, his hands stretched out without actually touching. Feeling sort of detached, Anakin could appreciate the offer of comfort that was made without actually grabbing him. He’d really gotten used to the Jedi way of personal space over the years. Anakin put his own hands into the palms before him and squeezed them. Deep breaths. In and out. He was only vaguely aware of the tears running down his face.

“That’s better”, Master Senai said softly, “Do you want me to get your Master?”

Yes, Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan was safety and calm and comfort. But Anakin wasn’t sure he would actually be able to answer, so he nodded mutely. In that moment the door to the salle flew open and Obi-Wan strode in, the Padawans parting before him like a wave. Anakin was enveloped in warm tunics, the smell of tea and Obi-Wan in his nose. His breathing started to calm and his heartbeat slowed down.

“Anakin, do you need to leave?” Obi-Wan asked, concern clear in his voice. There was nothing Anakin would rather do right now than curl up in their quarters. He nodded against Obi-Wan’s tunic and his Master led him towards the exit.

“We’ll get through this, Ani. I promise.” Obi-Wan told him once they were safely ensconced in their quarters. Together, yes they would, Anakin knew. Obi-Wan would be at his side, always.

 

“I’ve got it!” Naruhir shouted and jumped off the ladder. The ladder fell backwards and crashed into the archive shelf where it knocked down several datapads. Naruhir landed on the floor and braced herself to be buried in datapads. When nothing happened she looked up to see the pads floating around, forming a circle around her and Anakin who had patiently waited for her and now had his hand outstretched.

“Thank you for catching them. Master Jocasta would have killed me if something broke”, Naruhir said. Anakin grinned at her.

“Not a problem, oh great ladder-jumper”, he teased, which was the moment Elon chose to come  around the corner. 

“What in the Force are the two of you doing back here?”

“Naruhir jumped of the ladder which took a completely predictable fall against some shelves.”

“Weird. Normally you are the one jumping off things”, Elon mused. “What’s got you so excited, Nar?”

“My second name”, Naruhir answered enthusiastically. Suddenly she had both of her friend’s undivided attention. “It’s right here, it this old dictionary. Imaritan.”

“That is beautiful. What does it mean?” Anakin asked

“Solid conviction.”

“Yes, that fits you very well.” Elon commented. Both of her friends gave her a formal bow. 

“Welcome, Padawan Imaritan”, they chorused. Naruhir felt her insides warm. Her friends were really the best.

“Come on, we’ll put those things back and then we’ll comm Fessk”, Elon ordered. All three of them looked up to the cloud of datapads still floated around by Anakin and dissolved into laughter.

  
  


The months after the Red Ribbon were difficult. Anakin still had flashbacks during lightsaber practice, and those were held privately now, just between Obi-Wan, him, and sometimes his friends. He had nightmares and would cuddle up to Obi-Wan on most nights, who thankfully didn’t mind. 

Anakin had wanted to become a Jedi Knight, but now he wasn’t so sure it would be the right path for him. Even if they didn’t like it, most Jedi were forced to kill when performing their duties. To balance your grief at the lives lost and the joy of the lives you saved was difficult for every Jedi, Obi-Wan told him. Some decided they couldn’t handle it and pursued other paths. There was more to being a Jedi than a fancy lightsaber swing, as Naruhir said often. But Anakin knew he wasn’t made to sit idle. He didn’t deny that the healers, archivists, teachers and others did valuable work for the Order, but it wasn’t for him. And between all the uncertainty and doubt, Obi-Wan was assigned a mission.

Anakin wasn’t allowed to join him, because of his… difficulties, and he would have been angry at being left behind, if he hadn’t watched Obi-Wan swearing in at least ten different languages while preparing.

“The kriffing Senate, with their kriffing entitlement, and their Sith-fucking arrogance and self-serving and Aargh!” Obi-Wan growled. Then he took a deep breath and visibly calmed down. “I’m so sorry Anakin, I really don’t want to leave you. But we cannot defy orders from the Senate.”

“I know”, Anakin replied. And he did. If a Jedi was requested for a mission, the Jedi took the mission, no matter if he had other duties, like a padawan with issues. “Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“I don’t like it particularly either. A request is one thing, but we should be allowed to say no. The assignment of knights and masters should be handled by the High Council and not a bunch of bureaucrats. And yet, here we are”, Obi-Wan sighed. 

“But why does the Senate get to influence the order like that?” The moment he’d asked the question, Anakin was overcome with the certainty that he had just found the assignment he would do while his Master was away. And sure enough…

“An excellent question, my padawan. I suggest you take advantage of your stay with Master Jocasta and Naruhir and figure out the reasons and their historical context. If you can add an essay about whether those reasons are still applicable today, and if and how we could change the situation, I’d be delighted.” That was more work than Anakin had anticipated. That would require some serious research. But he had found that Obi-Wan rarely did something without a reason, and would often explain himself if asked.

“Why do you want me to do that?” he asked.

“I learned from Qui-Gon Jinn, who was a master in doing what he found right at the time, and he would get away with it, because he achieved good results. But for all his maverick qualities, he never actually tried to change anything, and that has always bugged me, honestly. It’s all well and good to complain about things you don’t like, and ignore the rules if it suits you, but that will not actually have any effect in the long run. Therefore, we are not going to complain, we are going to do something. In this case, we want change in the Jedi Order, so first we have to define the exact problem. You cannot argue against something if you don’t know all the facts. You are going to find them, and when I get back, we’ll see what we can do.” That made sense a lot of sense. 

Anakin conscripted Naruhir and Elon and they lost themself in legalese.

 

Obi-Wan returned from his mission triumphant, not that Anakin had doubted that for a minute, and with a small present for Anakin.

“I took a small detour to Alderaan, to visit a certain family. The girls made this for you”, Obi-Wan said while Anakin unfolded the paper with slightly shaking hands. It was a picture, drawn by small and inexperienced hands. 

In front of two small figures stood what was obviously supposed to be Anakin, with an ignited lightsaber, shielding them from a creature that only vaguely resembled a humanoid. The face distorted into a grimace, the hands were closer to claws, and he seemed impossibly tall compared to the little girls. Under stick-figure Anakin was scribbled, the letters unpracticed and uneven, ‘Protector’. This was what Anakin had done, what he had saved them from. To the two children those day must have been a nightmare. And Anakin had made the fear go away. This is why he wanted to become a Jedi, to help people.

Anakin raised his tear-filled eyes to meet Obi-Wan’s knowing look.

 

As Obi-Wan wove a new ribbon into his braid, a bright green to symbolize hope, Anakin thought about his new epiphany.  _ Remember those you killed, but do not forget the ones you kill for. _ It rang true in the Force.

“And now”, Obi-Wan announced, “it is time for your green-ribbon-celebration. Congratulations on passing the trial of blood, Padawan.”

He bowed, and Anakin finally allowed himself to feel the pride that had been quietly building inside him.

 

Obi-Wan looked up when Anakin entered their quarters with MS-37. Both the droid and his Padawan were covered in multicolored paint, though the droid was quite literally dripping.

“Padawan”, Obi-Wan asked slowly “dare I ask what the two of you have gotten into this time?”

“What do you mean, this time?” Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow at his colorful Padawan and Anakin muttered: “Accidentally deactivate half the Temple-droids one time…”

“So, what happened?”, Obi-Wan asked

“There might have been an incident with one of the storage rooms next to the hangar. The one they keep the paint in. Ms-37 might have bumped the shelves just a little bit”, Anakin admitted finally.

“That’s not all, is it?” With Anakin, it almost never was.

“Well…” Anakin looked sheepishly to the floor.

“Nevermind, don’t tell me. Is it likely to make someone come into our quarters shouting very loudly? Again?”

“I don’t think so, Master.”

“All right then. Go take a shower and then I’d suggest you take MS-Paint over there and make sure the paint didn’t get into any sensitive spots.”

 

“Master, I have the feeling that I just failed a test”, Anakin told Obi-Wan as they left the COuncil Chamber, who nodded in response.

“You did.”

Anakin felt hurt and confused. “Why didn’t you warn me?”

Obi-Wan was supposed to be in his corner, wasn’t he?

“Oh, Ani”, Obi-Wan put an arm around Anakin’s shoulders in silent comfort. ”It’s not bad that you failed. It just tell that you’re not inclined towards diplomacy. Which is not exactly a surprise, you’ve never been much interested in politics. These sorts of tests are a natural part of being a padawan, they just serve the purpose of telling me and your other teaching masters in which direction to push your training. But the fact that you noticed it was a test tells us something else.”

“Oh.” Anakin wasn’t sure if he should be surprised. This sort of underhandedness was just typical for the Jedi. And being upset because there would be less politics in his lessons? Utter madness. “And what exactly did it tell you, Obi-Wan?”

“That you are observant, Ani. Which is also something I’ve known before, but it’s nice to have the renewed confirmation. Spotting the way people react to your words can only help you.”

Anakin groaned. “You’re going to make me analyze a bunch of conversations again, are you?”

“Oh, yes. I will.”

  
  


Elon earned his red ribbon on Dac. They were supposed to mediate a civil war, and things had apparently escalated.

Anakin made sure to be available for hugs, tea and meditation (when had he turned into Obi-Wan?) for his friend; he knew from bitter experience that sometimes you needed your friends more than you needed your Master. Naruhir made sure to clear the sulking corner in the Archives to be available as a quiet place for Elon, even though she knew their friend would just go diving in one of the pools if he had enough of their usual shenanigans. 

Other than Anakin, Elon didn’t need much time to adjust to their new status. After a couple of sessions with a mind healer they were back to normal and Master Aryn tied the green into their braid just a month after their return from Dac.

“I think it’s because I had more time to prepare. After you got your ribbon, Master Aryn and I talked about the eventuality many times”, Elon told Anakin when he asked about it at their green ribbon celebration. Anakin wasn’t sure how to feel about any of it. He was glad his friend made it through this trial, but he also felt…cheated somehow, that Elon had been so much faster to recover than himself.

“You aren’t a failure for caring about people, Anakin”, Obi-Wan said quietly after Elon had been dragged away by Naruhir. She had an innate sense about all of them needing time to think and maybe their Master’S council. 

“If you say so, Master”, Anakin replied, dubious, and turned around. Trust Obi-Wan to cut right to the heart of the matter.

“Truly, Padawan. I had the same problem as you, and I’ve told you some things about what I eventually figured out. You’ll find your place as well and there is no shame about needing help to do so.”

“Right.” Obi-Wan had indeed told him about his own red ribbon, even though he didn’t talk about the exact circumstances. Master Qui-Gon’s teachings had apparently been very result-oriented, and as such Obi-Wan was left to figure most of this stuff out by himself. Anakin was overcome with relief that Obi-Wan was here. He hugged Obi-Wan. “I’m glad you’re here, Master.”

Obi-Wan hugged back and his voice was full of warmth. “I’m glad you’re here as well, Padawan.”

 

“Obi-Wan, there is a multicolored mouse droid on your counter.” Quinlan pointed at the offending droid, which beeped at him.

“Mhm”, Obi-Wan hummed noncommittally, turned the crepe and sprinkled sugar on top. 

“Why is there a multicolored mouse droid next to the stove, Obi-Wan?”

“Because it makes flambéing things so much easier.” Obi-Wan poured brandy into the frying pan. “Now, MS-Paint.”

Quinlan stared as a gust of flame shot out of the droid’s front and set the brandy on fire.

“Why in the Force does this thing have a flamethrower?”

“Blame Anakin.”

“A Padawan needs the approval of their Master to access the kind of materials you’d need to build a flamethrower.” Quinlan pointed out. He should know.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Sure you don’t”

“Quinlan, I made you dinner. This is the first time in months Anakin is absent from our quarters for the whole night. Is the mouse droid really the topic you want to think about for the evening?”

Quinlan looked at Obi-Wan, who was without his outer tunic and had his long hair in a messy bun.

“No, I think I can find more interesting things to occupy myself”

  
  


As soon as they heard, Elon and Anakin hurried to the landing platform (Anakin, true to form, jumped out of a window). With baited breath they waited for the ship’s ramp to lower and their friend to emerge. Naruhir was pale, her eyes shadowed, and the new red ribbon shone brightly in her blonde Padawan braid. When she noticed them, she ran down the ramp and threw themselves into their waiting arms. Even as Anakin hugged Naruhir tightly, he wrapped his Force presence around her, projecting  _ love, friendship, safety _ into their shared space, just as Elon was careful to mute the grief that filled her.

“Welcome home”, they whispered and Naruhir burst into tears. Anakin hugged her even closer, and was about to say something when Master Jocasta joined them and put her hand on Naruhir’s shoulder, which was really the only part of her Padawan she could reach. Jocasta Nu wasn’t known for public displays of affection, but Anakin would have bet his left arm that she would have made an exception in this case.

“What even happened?” Anakin asked quietly.

“Pirates. Apparently they thought that a ship associated with the Jedi Order would make a good target. Naruhir handled herself exceptionally well and saved many lives.” Master Jocasta answered, just as quietly. Anakin felt the sudden need to hunt down the assholes who caused his friend distress and attacked the innocent people who just were on the ship because the Order always made sure to take passengers along on transports, particularly harmless ones like traveling to Ossus. But he released the feelings into the Force just as quickly, revenge was not the Jedi way, and besides, Naruhir needed him more.

_ Well done _ , Obi-Wan send along their training bond, his mental voice filled with pride.  _ I have made chocolate cake and the kettle’s on, if they want to join us. Master Aryn in on her way as well. _

_ Awesome _ , Anakin replied and said aloud: “Master Obi-Wan has issued an invitation for all of you to our quarters. There will be tea and cake, which I believe might be just the right thing.”

Naruhir raised her head from Elon’s shoulder and asked: “Cake?”

“Cake”, Master Jocasta nodded and led her into the temple, with Anakin and Elon following behind like a honor guard.

 

 

“You know that you’ll have to leave here sooner or later, right?” Jocasta asked her Padawan, who was sitting in the middle of the crystal chamber and meditating.

“No, I won’t. I live here now”, Naruhir replied, almost distractedly. She still didn’t open her eyes and seemed to have fallen into utter bliss. Jocasta sighed and went to find Master E’Sitar. It seemed that Naruhir had found her path as a Jedi, and that would require further lessons. 

  
  


Elon, Naruhir and Anakin always met up for lunch, especially now that their lessons became more and more specialized so they didn’t spend them together. They were surprised to see a familiar figure sitting at their table.

“Fessk”, Elon called and hurried to his friend’s side. Fessk had buried his face in his hands, his food untouched, but looked up when he heard his friends come closer.

“It’s bad”, Elon whispered to Anakin in an undertone. Anakin agreed; while he couldn’t tune into other people’s emotions like Elon, he knew what despair looked like. Once they reached their friend, Anakin planted himself next to Fessk and threw an arm around him. His brother-padawan leaned into him and Elon sat down on Fessk’s other side and took his hand.

“What happened?” Naruhir asked once she had seated herself across from them. Despite the fact than Anakin and Fessk had regular comm chats and Elon could quite literally sense what Fessk was feeling, she was the one who asked the question. She was great that way, sympathetic without it influencing her. She would be the  _ best _ Jedi Knight. If they managed to pry her out of the crystal lab, that is.

“It was an epidemic”, Fessk whispered. With those four words, Anakin knew this would be serious and they needed as much privacy as the commissary could provide. He stretched outward, weaving the Force around the table, projecting  _ Do not disturb _ around them. It wasn’t a blatant, but a subtle shield. Anakin was getting good at that, redirecting attention without being forceful about it. But now was not the time to feel pride, his friend needed him.

“Correlian Rot. Fatal in 60% of cases, but treatable if you manage to catch it early. It’s possible to use the Force to burn it out if you don’t have medicine, but… There were so many”

Elon’s sharp intake of breath told Anakin that whatever Fessk said next wouldn’t be pretty.

“The Rot has an unknown vector. Nobody knows if it’s transferred by air, or water, or animals, or whatever else. The first thing you do is put up a quarantine, then treat as many as possible. They…they…”, Fessk stuttered and stared to breath quicker, on the edge of tears. “The Senate stopped sending supplies. No antibiotics, or pain relief, or food, or water without contaminants. Said that it wasn’t worth it for a doomed population that wasn’t even really a part of the Republic yet. We did what we could, but there were so many…” Fessk’s voice broke and Anakin could sense his bone-deep exhaustion. Fessk must have stayed up as much as possible, straining his connection to the Force to heal people as much as he could. Suddenly Anakin realized that he must have chosen, with the limited supplies he had, who to save. The thought left him cold. To choose who lived and who died should be a heady feeling, powerful like the slave masters on Tatooine. But instead it felt empty. Horrifying. The quiet awareness that you couldn’t save everyone, no matter what you did. Anakin never, never wanted to experience that.

And suddenly Obi-Wan was there. Strong, solid, warm. A beacon of Light in the Force. He put a hand on Anakin’s shoulder, steadying him, while the rest of him enveloped Fessk. 

“It’s all right to grieve, Fessk. Don’t hold it back, the pain will eat you from the inside until it is all that is left. We’re here. You are not alone, dear one. Now, we’re going to our quarters where you can stay for as long as you want or need.”

Fessk buried himself in Obi-Wan’s embrace and Anakin’s Master stood up and left the commissary with Fessk cradled in his arms. 

  
  


Anakin was feeling frustrated, despite the fact that he knew he didn’t really have a reason to. Ever since Naruhir had decided that she wanted to be a crystal Master and take care of the lightsaber crystals, Anakin had wondered what he wanted to do with his life. Choosing a specialty was a prerequisite to being announced a Senior Padawan and came with additional lessons and missions away from one’s own Master. Not that Anakin was in any hurry to leave Master Obi-Wan, but still, it rankled. He was only sixteen, he had time. Elon hadn’t chosen either. But there was this sense of urgency, this need to succeed that Obi-Wan did his best to settle.

They had spoken at length about Anakin’s drive to be the best Jedi. The best fighter, the most connected to the Force, the most powerful. It stemmed from Anakin’s childhood where might made right. But being the best fighter didn’t really make someone the best  _ Jedi _ ; Anakin remembered only too well Obi-Wan’s thoughts on the matter.

_ Remember, Padawan, that the definition of ‘best Jedi’ is a matter of debate. You wouldn’t call Naruhir lesser because she doesn’t like fighting. Nor would you call Elon better because they have abilities in the Force you do not. If you measure yourself against others, you will almost always fall short in some way and that will breed resentment. Be the best Anakin Skywalker you can be, and that will suffice. _

He had reached the Room of a Thousand Fountains. Even after all these years, the amount of water astounded and delighted him, making this room his favorite in the temple. Anakin settled down to meditate – the concept no longer overwhelming to him – and stretched out into the Force. The Jedi Knights and Masters had all solid mental shields, their presence a quiet humming in Anakin’s mind. The younger Padawans and Initiates were bright and bubbly and never failed to bring a smile to Anakin’s face. The non-sensitive people in the Temple were louder, but they were steady and Anakin knew most of them. 

He moved beyond that and settled in the Force itself. What was his purpose? Not diplomacy, even though that would be breaking with the lineage tradition, or anything that required large amounts of being still and patient. He considered the various missions he had been on. What was really important to his mind were two things: The tearful thanks of the people he helped, and the sense of justice that came with catching those who’d do harm to others. That’s what he wanted to do! 

Anakin opened his eyes with the sudden epiphany. Criminal investigations it was.

  
  


“Honored Gentlebeings. And Anakin”, Obi-Wan grinned as his Padawan cheerfully flipped him off. “We are gathered here today to celebrate Fessk, who has completed his training as a healer and is now a fully-fledged member of the Exploration Corps.”

Masters Aryn and Jocasta clapped while Anakin, Elon and Naruhir covered their friend in paper streamers. Fessk pretended to be annoyed by their enthusiasm, but his joy radiated into the Force. Anakin watched delightedly as Obi-Wan sat next to Fessk and whispered: “Well done, I’m very proud of you.”

They hugged and after a moment pulled Anakin close to them. It hadn’t been easy, but Obi-Wan, Fessk and him had formed a stable dynamic, without resentment and jealously. 

The party for Fessk that Jocasta and Obi-Wan had organized was a thing of beauty. They had claimed one of the private gardens close to the Room of a Thousand Fountains, which included a small pool for swimming. Obi-Wan had made a cake, while the other contributed different foods. 

“I believe this is a good moment to tell everyone that Elon has passed all the tests and will begin training as a searcher”, Master Aryn announced. She smiled and added. “It was about time they figured out what they wanted to do.”

She poked Elon on their forehead. “Loiterer.”

“Hey!” They watched as Elon tackled their Master backwards into the pool and then laughter filled the garden.

This, Anakin thought, was exactly where he was meant to be.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the sequel to A Personal Touch, where Fessk, Elon and Naruhir are first introduced.
> 
> Visit my tumblr @dragonhoardsbookz


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